I saw an interesting article today: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/how-should-christians-date
And now for the exposure of the feminism, and true meaning behind this article. At the end of the article, the author writes:
“…none of those other guys or gals you’ve casually dated will matter…”
Perhaps this is true, but what about them? If we follow the advice of the Modern-Christian, and partake in this serial monogamy, how much damage are we doing on the other side by gaining this “experience”, and leveling up until our flesh, oh wait, I mean — ‘heart’ decides that we have found ‘the one’?
Dalrock has an interesting post on “serial monogamy” – http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2012/08/20/womens-sacred-path-to-marriage/
“Well, Z, if Christian Dating is bad, then what do we do?”
Well, I never said it was BAD, but it is certainly similar to the world’s version of dating. Maybe even a mirror image of it, with a few verses thrown into it to make it look “Christ-like”. But, in either case, it usually has the same results. One person lives happily ever after, and the other is left for dead. Of course, this doesn’t apply to the 1-time date, where NOTHING happened between them at all . . . but we know that this is not the real case here. Someone, is going to get hurt in this process.
As I have not returned to the “dating scene” just yet (I’m enjoying my single life for a little longer), I do have an idea that is so old-fashioned, and so simple — IT MIGHT JUST WORK. I guess we’ll find out, but it’s worth a shot — and nobody gets hurt in this process.
It’s called “being friends”.
What? You mean, you just want to be “friends”? YES! This means, when you meet a woman/man, become a friend. And in case you didn’t know, here’s a few facts about friends:
1) My friends don’t hit on me. That means no advanced touching, caressing, or eye-gazing with pearly whites for hours.
2) My friends don’t hurt me. And even if they do, intentional or not, they apologize eventually — and the friendship CONTINUES. <– KEY = FORGIVENESS
3) My friends wish the BEST for me, always! That means, even marriage, be it them or not!
4) My friends would chase me down if I went missing – and slap the hell outta me for doing it.
Is this making sense ya’ll? I hope so! Now, comes the ever dreadful “friend zone”. Look gents, this is a MYTH. A myth designed to instill fear in your hearts. And when fear is in a man’s heart, a woman can smell it a mile away. So don’t fear! Trust in GOD always. I recommend to be friends for some time, at least until you fight once — cause everyone fights But not everyone forgives.
But what about “A, B, C, D, E….” about this person? I don’t like A, but I like B? ANd what about , and umm, gosh!!
Just stop it already. You will never truly know a person 100%, even if you were married for 100+ years! At some point, you must take a chance. At some point, you must take a leap of FAITH. If you have been friends for some time, then take the girl out for a nice time, ONE ON ONE, and sometime during the night, simply express your feelings. It’s probably not a good idea to ask for marriage (although I suppose it works for some!), but, just tell her how you feel about her. Tell her how precious she is to you, and that you would like to start dating! There’s nothing more fun than dating your best friend (so I hear from many wise married couples).
But in this case, you KNOW EACH OTHER. In this case, you WANT THE BEST FOR EACH OTHER, and so both parties automatically know, that neither of them intends to harm the other.
What a much better deal? And hey, don’t forget the physical boundaries. Keep in mind, that before the marriage happens, this person is potentially SOMEONE ELSES SPOUSE. So don’t do harm to another’s spouse — both sides will get hurt if you don’t end up in marriage.
This method is far less risky. What if you don’t have friends though? Well, it’s time to go make some. Go into community! You were not designed to be alone in this world, you were built for community (quote: David McDaniel)! So get that straightened out first. The rest will work out! Really!
I asked a wise man once, “how come it’s so hard to find a spouse these days, compared to the old times?” He replied:
“Z, the modern world today is nothing compared to how things were in the past. Today, people travel and chase careers, from the time they are born! It’s becoming very common to move between schools as a child, between houses and communities, start all over, and that cycle unfortunately continues into adult-hood. This was not so in the old days. Back then, people didn’t travel often, if at all. You stayed in the same community your whole life, and in those cases, men and women KNEW their spouse from childhood. They grew up together! They also group up in the same communities, which shared the same values. They didn’t need to date as people do today, in order to find out if that person is “crazy” or not. No, you already knew because you grew up together. Today, if you date someone, you have NO IDEA what kind person that is! Even if they are Christian, there is still no guarantee that the person is not a psychopath. It could take years to really know for sure.”
I took his words to heart, pondered on them to this day (years later), and decided I will no longer date as the world dates! The next time I go on a date, will be with a woman that is one of my closest friends. A woman who knows me, and I would know her. Period. Exclamation point!
Soon, I will be living in Japan for many years. It is only then, that I will re-open my heart, and carefully consider dating. It aint gonna happen off the plane, haha! But, in DUE TIME. I have a feeling my future wife is in Japan. It doesn’t necessarily mean she is going to be Japanese, but I just have this gut-feeling. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see, and continue to be patient!